More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.
~ John Kenneth Galbraith
Today we’ll deal with the difficult topic of how to tell your girlfriend to lose weight. This will also work if you’re wondering how to tell your wife to lose weight as well. In fact, if you’re concerned about anyone’s weight whom you love then these tactful tips will help you get across the idea and hopefully encourage them to lose weight.
Now, you’re not really going to like what I have to say. Not because I’m not trying to be helpful, but the question being asked by the title of this post is incorrect.
The question really should be, how to encourage your girlfriend to lose weight. Telling someone to do something is never going to be the best approach to encourage certain behavior. And this is doubly true with the sensitive issue of weight.
Women are known to be more concerned about their weight and more sensitive to issues regarding their weight. I think this is generally true. After all, society places great pressure on women and girls generally to be slim and pretty and look a certain way.
For example, you’ll often see an older overweight guy with a young slim model looking wife so long as he has money or prestige or some other type of power status.
But you very seldom see the reverse where an older overweight women is dating a younger model looking buff guy.
I don’t want to turn this into a critique of our society and societal structure though you can draw your own conclusions. But bearing this in mind you have to understand that women are extremely sensitive to issues regarding their physical appearance and their weight.
Men are also concerned about weight and looking buff and muscled, but to a lesser degree and there isn’t the same social pressure on men to maintain an ideal weight.
I’m saying all of this because it is important to understand tact in regards to helping your partner or wife or girlfriend lose weight.
I know personally that someone telling me to do something is not the most effective way to get me to do that thing. Asking is a better approach, but when it comes to sensitive issues I don’t think there is a good way to approach it directly. This is especially true of weight issues.
You might say to your girlfriend something to the effect that I’m worried about your health and I don’t want to see you get sick or suffer from diseases related to excess weight, so would you join me on a healthier diet and exercise program?
Something like the above is perhaps the best approach if you want to try and get as direct as possible.
However, i think there is a better approach to broaching the subject of weight loss with your girlfriend or wife.
Here are 2 ways that you can help to encourage your wife or girlfriend to lose weight and get into shape.
Both ways depend on your own physical health and slimness. If you are overweight yourself then this is how I’d approach it. Now listen, you have to be totally honest with yourself. You can’t fudge here, you have to really identify if you have some weight to lose. Even if it’s only 5 or 10 pounds to lose before you get into your ideal BMI range. Many guys fib to themselves about their weight. We call ourselves husky or a big guy when in fact we’re fat.
If we’re fat, let’s own it, as it is a great way to take charge of the situation and get both you and your girlfriend to lose weight.
The reason folks become fat is because they eat too many calories for their metabolic rate and their lifestyle activity. Usually, this is combined with eating too much high fat, high calorie low nutrition foods. Think refined foods, fried foods, white foods etc.
To get an idea of how many calories you really need you can input this info into this daily calorie expenditure calculator. Most of us have no idea how LITTLE the number of calories we require is.
Okay, so if you need to lose weight as well as your girlfriend then here’s how to go about it. Say something like this. Honey, I really want to try and lose some weight, will you help me with that and help me eat healthy foods and make healthier choices. I’d like to try and get rid of all the junk food in our house and start choosing healthier options when we’re out and about. If you’d join me on this it would make it so much easier for me too.
This way you’re getting her on board without letting her know that her weight is of concern. If you can manage this tactfully so she buys into it, both you and her will lose weight by making healthier choices and keeping healthier food around the house.
If you don’t have any weight issues yourself, then it becomes a little tougher but you still use the same style of request.
In this case you might try something like this. Honey, I want to try and start eating healthier and I know we just seem to eat too much junk foods or processed foods and we keep too much of it around the house. Would you support me in making healthier choices when we’re out and keeping only healthy food in the house? It’s just that I’m starting to feel like crap with this low nutritional value food.
The key with both approaches is that you make it about you thereby deflecting any concerns she might have consciously or subconsciously about her weight.
I just don’t see how you can approach the subject of getting your girlfriend to lose weight directly without creating animosity, resentment and perhaps hurting your relationship. If you know how to do that please let me know in the comments. Best of luck. Get healthy for both your sakes.