I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?
~ Kristin Davis
The topic for today is finding out how you can tell if a guy likes you but also and perhaps more importantly how you can determine if the guy who does like you will make you happy for the long term.
Young and old alike are very often drawn to the exciting and heart throbbing first flush of a relationship’s bloom.
But any relationship worth having is a relationship worth having for the long haul. As such, you need to be able to look through the mirror of first lust in order to find the seeds of stability, honour, trust and integrity which will carry you over the dry and barren wastelands that occasionally must be transgressed in order to find anew the blooming lagoon of perpetual love.
To increase your chances of finding a guy who is right, you can of course start by making yourself irresistible.
What I’m saying is that not every guy who likes you, or every gal who likes you is worthy of liking back in the romantic sense.
Real relationships take effort and hard work and are not the quick thumb’s up likes that we are so quick to throw around like confetti at weddings.
Though of course when we are young we often need to experiment and end up in less than ideal relationships if only to learn what it is we really need to find in a partner who will travel with us as a confidant and companion on the long journey to the door across the corridor of life.
But if I can save you some time from bad bets and snake eyes in the casino of life and romance I would have considered this discussion a success.
But first we need to come back to the start which is where we rightfully ought to begin.
And the beginning is figuring out how to tell if a guy or woman for that matter likes you or is into you. As much as the relationships gurus who are selling ebooks and magic potions, trickery and wizardry would have you believe, telling if someone likes you in a romantic sense is easier to determine than a poker tell.
And perhaps rightly so, as the stakes are much higher.
Forget the smoke and mirrors and the shaman’s bones which suggest that a women why touches her hair or touches your elbow definitely likes you. Flirting can be manufactured and like the thin veneer on fool’s gold is soon found out.
Forget the idea that the guy who talks to his friends more boisterously when you are around or steadily gazes at you up and down is interested, he might be interested but his interest might only be skin deep for once he has had you skinny dipping he might turn on the cold shoulder.
No, none of these are reliable. When looking for a decent and equitable relationship what you want my dear friend is a comrade in arms. A man or woman who sees you and likes the you that is deeper than the firm bosom or well sculpted shoulders that like traitors will treacherously flee from you when sandman comes knocking.
Real beauty does not age. And real beauty is made of the intrinsic parts of you. How you behave and act with the young and old the firm and infirm, the meek and the mild. For in the wilderness of courtship it is your moral compass and your ethical anchor which will be of most value to the loyal and true who are sadly, the few. But the one you want is amongst them.
So if you really want to know if a guy likes you. And I mean that he really likes you and isn’t just interested in the overly sweet fruit of physical attraction that is soon satiated and rots the heart with a rancid poison once quenched. If you are interested if finding out if that woman is really interested in you, does she really like you then you need to wile away your time.
It is only through patience and careful observation that you can determine the sincerity in that smile or whether it is just disguised guile.
A guy likes you when you can spend time together alone, talking for hours. And once you have come to know one another can you sit for several more hours in silence, just enjoying the company?
If you can sit still together while the world moves around you and you are sure in the knowledge of safety and commitment and love which blooms blindly in your partner’s soul then you have found a partner to traverse these winding waters of life with.
If on the other hand she wants to go out all the time and can’t bear to sit still and watch the sunset with you. If he needs to be continuously entertained and showered with gifts of a material kind. Then sadly you have found an albatross and certainly it is not a kindred spirit you did find.
Your ability to find a guy who likes you for all your many gifts you offer of a ethereal nature is increased when you can come to like yourself and learn to love you for who you are – burps and all.